The Disposable Income Kid

What is (or, more accurately, was) this site all about, you [probably didn't] ask? Read on...

From late 2011 until the end of 2013, the Disposable Income Kid (better known as, yup, the DIK) gave away a decent portion of his disposable income every month via a site that has been replaced (for the time being) by this landing page (the homepage of the original site was the billboard shown above).

​On the original site, anyone could submit a story during a given month (without, by the way, having to create an account or give a DIK any personal information other than an email address because, well, fuck that noise), and a DIK would dole out a predetermined amount of cash at the end of the month to the stories he thought were the most interesting.

​Over the course of those two years, 750+ stories were submitted, and a DIK promptly, painstakingly, and lovingly (in his own warped way, of course) responded to almost every single one of them. Oh, and just shy of 60 of the stories received a cut of the $14,825 a DIK ended up giving away.

​So, why'd a DIK do it? Well, at its core, the site was primarily about writing and storytelling, but the site's FAQ (included below) probably does the best job of providing some context for the site as well as helping visitors get a feel for a DIK's tone. One thing was for sure, though... a DIK was an acquired taste. In the site's "heyday," a few thousand unique visitors per month seemed to enjoy that taste, and DIK had a blast interacting with the brave souls who submitted stories.

​Currently, this page serves as a memorial of sorts to the original site, and a DIK will probably bring the stories and responses back in some way, shape, or form at some point. Or he won't. Time will tell. Anyway, here's that FAQ. Peace, motherfuckers.

Frequently Asked Questions

(or, more accurately, an Open Dialog Best If Read From Top To Bottom, but ODBIRFTTB is not quite as well known as FAQ)

What's going on here?

You mean it's not self-explanatory?

No, not really.

Okay, Slurpy, a DIK'll spell it out for you, and he will type very slowly so you can keep up. A DIK is giving away some of his disposable income every month to one or more random people on the internet.

There is no way you are doing that.

Yes, a DIK very fucking is doing exactly fucking that.

Whoa, language!

A DIK will let you in on a little secret right now, Mary Poppins. If you can't handle a four-letter word or two along with a healthy dose of dick-related puns because, after all, those things are kind of inherent on some level given the name of the site, you probably won't get a DIK's sense of humor, and there is a better-than-average chance you will not like it here. You have been warned.

Um, okay, I guess. So why are you doing this?

Because a DIK is out of his goddamn mind.

That much is pretty clear already. But don't you have a real reason?

Okay, the real reason is a DIK figures there are lots of folks out there who could benefit from a few extra bucks each month, and he is fortunate enough to have a few extra bucks laying around. So, a DIK thought the magic of the internet could help him reach out to some people who could use a hand.

So you're rich?

Not hardly, Sparky. A DIK just has a decent amount of disposable income because he has a good job combined with a very strong aversion to owning shit.

So why not save your money or invest it?

Are you seriously trying to talk a DIK out of giving you money?

Well, no, but there is no way this can be real.

A DIK assures you it is.

Why should I believe you?

Who says you should? In fact, don't. Last a DIK heard, there are billions of other websites out there, and he has been told that some of them even have naked people on them. Maybe you should visit one of those sites, instead. A DIK is sure they are giving money away, too.

What's in this for you?

Hmm, good question. The undying respect and adoration of tens or even hundreds of nameless, faceless, mindless, common senseless internet dwellers?

Come on, seriously, there has to be something in it for you. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense.

A DIK'll give you that one, Brainy Smurf. Nothing about this makes sense. However, there is just something about giving money away that appeals to a DIK. So either believe him or get lost. In other words, feel free to not take a DIK's money.

Okay, I'll take your money. What do I have to do?

Write something interesting.

That's it?

Yes, that is it.

What do you mean by interesting? Should I make up a sob story?

If you were paying attention earlier, you know the general idea here is to reach out to folks who could really use the money. So, yes, it does seem like a sob story would be the way to go. But, if a DIK tells you guys the saddest story is going to get the money each month, you will all just try to out-sad each other, and a DIK will want to blow his brains out as he reads your depressing (and completely fake) stories. So, a DIK would rather have you write something that is actually meaningful to you. If you have a real sob story, share it. If you want to share a poem you wrote, great. If you want to tell a DIK your favorite joke or write some random thoughts about life, good for you. The bottom line is the money will go to the person or persons who write the most interesting shit each month, and the definition of interesting will be ever-changing because it's a DIK's site and he'll do whatever the hell he wants.

You know most of the submissions are still going to be made-up sob stories, right?

So fucking what. If making up a sad story in order to scam an idiot like a DIK out of a few hundred bucks is how you want to spend your time, more power to you. Oh, but you should be aware that 1) karma is a bitch, and 2) you will be required to provide some personal information if you win. For example, to send you the money, a DIK will probably need a street address at some point.

How do you decide how much money to give away each month?

A DIK uses something called "math." It's scary. You wouldn't like it. So, a DIK will spare you the nightmares and just say the dollar amount usually falls between $250 and $750. However, the minute you want to donate some of your disposable income to the cause, you let a DIK know and we will jack that number up into the thousands.

What's up with the voting?

The ability to vote for stories is only there so "popular" stories can bubble to the top each month. However, don't think for one second that just because a story ends up with the most votes that the person who wrote it is going to get the money that month.

What information do I have to provide in order to submit something?

The only required information is a title for your story, an e-mail address (which only a DIK will see, which will never be shared with anyone else, and which had better be real if you expect to get any money), a confirmation that you agree to some simple terms, and some interesting writing.

What's up with the terms?

The terms are simple, and, more importantly, absolutely non-motherfucking-negotiable. When you submit a story to this site, you are confirming you are over 18 years of age (a DIK is not giving money to minors because he doesn't want grief from moronic parents who think it is his job to police the internet usage of their juvenile delinquents), you are agreeing to take responsibility for your actions (self-explanatory or at least it should be, and if it's not, please go away), and you are giving a DIK permission to reuse your story as he sees fit (which will come in handy when he gets an offer for a lucrative book deal or when Hollywood wants to turn this site into a movie). By the way, with regard to that last one, a DIK said reuse, not own. So, the very second you want a story you submitted removed from the site, say the word and it's gone (a DIK may be a dick but he certainly is not an asshole).

How long should my story be?

Write a couple of sentences or write a novel. Your call, Sunshine.

Can I edit or delete my story after I have submitted it?

No, no you cannot. Life is unfair.

Are you going to read every story?

A DIK promises to try. Remember, a DIK has a real job he has to go to every day and actually not suck at so he can keep earning money to give to you people. So, you might want to come up with a catchy title or start your story off with an attention grabber of some sort.

How can I be sure I will get the money if I win?

You can't, so just roll the dice and see what happens. Look, it is real goddamn simple, kids. This site is a DIK's version of Thunderdome. The only rules are the ones he makes up, and those rules are subject to change whenever a DIK feels like changing them. If you don't like it, don't let the front page hit you in the ass on the way out.

You have been referring to yourself in the third person the whole time here. Do you always do that? It's kind of annoying.

Yes, a DIK does refer to himself in the third person most of the time. Why? Because fuck you, that's why.

Geez, sorry I brought it up. Okay, can I ask one more question?

No, we're done here. Now go write something interesting.